two more ways I’m just talking the talk

I’ve already been open about a few things I’m just “talking the talk” and not “walking the walk,” about, and that I’ve started implementing certain goals and mindsets that I think can get me more into this mode. One o f the biggest reasons I’m focusing too much on this is because of hypocrisy; I don’t want to be hypocritical, and I think I am being so when I think “hey I wanna improve or just change my life in this way” and six months goes by and I still haven’t moved from square one. I think that’s self-hypocrisy, would you agree?

One big thing I haven’t stopped being able to think about is a podcast: I want to start a podcast. But when I sit down and plan how it’s going to work I find myself in another situation where things are easier said than done. But in this case it’s not as difficult, it really is just finding a format to stick with. I need to start smaller than “podcast,” something with like “an impulsive audiogram,” no catchy intro or format, just me talking. I’ve tried to act natural after I’ve tried starting off with a fixed intro but I lose my mojo immediately. I don’t want to be too scripted but it looks like I’ll need something of a script.

Last night I couldn’t help but try exactly this, here’s my first impulsive audiogram!

I’ll work my way to a podcast if time permits while I’m in school.

Another thing is to adopt some kind of meditation. Something simple like sitting at a park and focusing on my breathing for a good while. This is something I’ve also been thinking too much about for at least a year. The biggest problem I have with doing this is finding a space to do this in. A space I don’t do anything else in. I think of the lake a couple miles away; it’ll require a short run, but I tend to complain “if only it was closer.” Thinking about that, I’ve just realized that not most people live as close to a lake or large public park as I do. A certain quiet sanctuary could do, but I don’t have such a place, just that lake. I guess what I could do is run to the lake, stop and use a while for meditation, and then run back home by sunset. I’m not sure if it’ll work since my idea of meditation is more calm, but this is all just my idea and I could choose it on my own, so I could use this as a start. Bad part is all this will be irrelevant in just four days when I go up to Sacramento. Actually, SacState is better for this since the school is pretty much a public park space all around. The right place at the right time should do. My issue with all this is, again, starting and sticking to it, otherwise not only have I spent so much time thinking of it, I’ve even talked about it on my blog. But maybe that’s the catalyst I’m looking for.

So those are two things I need to improve on. There’s more I’ll try getting to,  all in due time. Today I’ll try the meditation at the lake in between the run. At this point I’m several miles behind schedule for my resolution, but it’s not something today’s run can’t close in on. Maybe I should add these two things to my resolution list? Idk, I’ll think on that. :E

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