Graduation; depression

Yesterday I graduated from Rio Hondo College. AAs in Political Science and Philosophy. I’m two classes away from a third AA in History, which I’ll be taking this summer. Because why not?…

I’m en route to go to Sacramento State. I’ll be majoring in Government with a minor in Philosophy. But that’s not until three months from now. It’s only been one day and I feel the weight of having nothing to do. It’s depressing me.

I have almost two weeks off from work as well; that might be contributing to this uselessness.

Also I have reset my work on my keyboard album. I’ll reduce the album to an EP; I plan to work several short EPs for the time being.. I have the title “The Children’s Escape” constantly running through my head, so I’ll use that as the tentative project title.

Here’s the cover of the eventual EP There Goes Everybody.

I’ll get to work on the keyboard during these next weeks, to have something to work on.


a few questions

The questions goes: If there were a public execution on television, would you watch?

No. I would watch it after the broadcast, on a video platform (like YT).
Why would I watch it though? Because of how rare it occurrs in MY LIFE, that I get to witness an execution.
I’m okay with people watching an execution of myself on television, therefore I’d be willing to watch. If I wasn’t willing to be the person executed, I otherwise wouldn’t let it happen. I’m not sure this event will happen though.

Another question goes: You are given a chance to return to any previous point in your life and change a decision you made, but you will lose everything that has happened to you since then. Is there a time you would return to? If so, would you like to retain the memory of the life you are giving up even though you could never recapture it?

Yes. Just before senior year of high school. I would write myself a letter that would come to this previous moment with me, warning me what my big mistakes will be: not doing much as leader of an academy, not (ever) risking myself to let a girl know I had developed a crush on her, not working hard enough on my French projects (and by not enough, I mean at all), as well as not stopping to straighten my hair sooner. I’m not sure what else was at the forefront of ‘mistakes’ I knew I’d commit throughout the year, but those would be the more prominent, because I still think back to them. Gosh why did I straighten my hair so much. xP

Down to my core though, if I was presented with the button to press the button and go back, I doubt I’d end up pressing it. Those mishaps accurately define who I am today, they keep my track record consistent. Taking those decisions away takes away who I am fundamentally. Wanna hear it explained a third way? I am okay with what I am now, given everything I’ve done. To erase any part of myself, to me, is a full erase on myself. That third explanation sucked didn’t it? Did I at least answer the question.

And NO I won’t elaborate on those specific things I said I would let my past me know.

A third question was here, but it composed of several different questions, so I’ll continue it on another post.