deservance

There is not enough time in this world to hold grudges. They hold us back, longing to rectify a moment long gone. They remove us from the present moment, leaving an impression on the world we would not want the younger ones to follow. They incite a future that does not focus on wellness, love. Because we want deservance. We want due process.

But who taught us life in this world would be fair?
Who taught us that a given individual would get what they deserve?
Was it the stories of heroes who would somehow find an end to the evildoer gone mad?
These stories were most of them one-sided, weren’t they?
Was is the saturated school system, designed as an ends and not a means? as archaic as the political machine that tends to reward only those seeking objective wealth?
But it never ceases, does it? It stays one-sided.
Instead of evolving it, we get cellphone version 7. We get model 2017. We get the new update. But do we walk into a classroom and tell ourselves “this is how it is because we are at the end of the progression wheel.” A wheel with a monkey wrench in it.
Is it that power is too consuming? The political machine finds a way to bleed the hopeful of their priorities in favor of, again, wealth, the lust for more power. Oiling the gears.
And it never ceases, does it?
Is it the ‘natural tendency’ of selfishness we all have. Driven not by gaining something, anything, instead by fear of losing something, everything. What ever was promised to us, whether we had it or not, is not something we are willing to wait for. Because what are we waiting for?

We lose our patience.
We want to point our fingers.

And we thrust our blame at the ‘evildoers’
We thrust it to the entertainers, to our educators, to the politicians, to the doctors, and the police. To like individuals.

Because we were not taught to change what we are led to believe is the ‘way of life.’ And this way of life keeps us unmatched to the machine. It stays beyond our reach. But we did reach the moon.

And maybe we don’t like change. Maybe the comfort zone we lead ourselves into is innate, in us and in society. Is it right to stay inside this comfort zone? In the noises and scenery we don’t need to second guess; we have no will.

Do we simply forget where we are in the grand picture? In this world, we seem alone; some die convinced. Some kill themselves. Some thrive by luck. Some are born hungry, sick, die hungry, sick. Some pay to live longer. Some play the system; some fight it. So far, death is still one of the few things we share. We share it with the greats of history, and we’ll share it with the greats of tomorrow. We also share the earth we stand in. The only place we can call home. A place some of us neglect. We search for more. We want more. Because what we have isn’t enough. Because we want deservance. We want due process.

From what, death?

The only worthy grudge worth holding is with those keeping us from changing, evolving, improving, what we have. Caring for what we have and want, that others might benefit from. Having a life worth living for in this world. Keeping our little project afloat doesn’t survive staying still; the wave will engulf it. We gotta do our part. Even if there already is a hole in the ship. Let it all sink. Let it not all sink without us making our time on it worth it. It’ll hurt. It’ll take some of us down before we can feel achieved. We all share this reality, and we might carry this reality alone. There is not enough time in this world to hold grudges.

If love is worth the loneliness, let’s be lonely together.

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